Emerging | Pure Heart Confession 1

This arrived today as I wanted to make an update on where I am at with my art. A surprise and also a way in ... or out ... depending on how you look at it! 

Enjoy

Does one ever stop emerging? The final emergence being into the final breath?

I keep describing the feeling of coming out, spreading my wings, and yet somehow this is not true, this is not happening... yet. Each time I feel a premature opening of the shell that leaves me still inside to look out through the crack with just one eye, as I find myself debilitated by this winter just passed. Debilitated or simply in the melting and surrender of transformation? Only time will tell.

This winter I have been reminded of the profound lack of self confidence I had growing up and understanding that the undercurrent of this is... not loving myself. I am therefore learning to reunite with this part of me, not disown or cover up and 'just get on with it'. Nothing ever goes away like that. I am learning to become and own my full self in order to see the parts of me that I have, in turn, disowned loving.

I never learned how to love myself, be there for myself. I learned that I was too much - too sensitive, too emotional – I learned to adapt and not show my full shine so others 'might' like me. Essentially I learned to live a lie. This role played out through the years in constant adapting to others expectations of me, not trusting my inner compass, believing others knew what was best for me. I attracted unhealthy relationships with others, with myself and manifested techniques to suppress my emotions to they could hide somewhere in my body. But they found other ways of showing themselves.

So now, I have been visiting these places in order to reclaim them, transform them, so their unconscious ways of being do not haunt me in my present life any longer. To visit the past is not to be stuck in the past. I see it as a voyage of discovery. I take myself on a journey to find keys to unlock new doors, pathways and passages to shine light. And upon return, I feel such new energy come in with the allowing of going in, really in, deep inside. Is it really so much easier to just stay on the outside? Not for me.

Because of this, I see that I have not been creating much art over the past year or so. This is because it has been a real voyage inward. This is how I work. This is the only way for me. This is where I find the gems from which I can create a new.

And so this feels like a letter of confession, of coming out. I am ultra sensitive to all sorts of energies and emotions, I feel everything. I make art, I dance, I sing, I watch each day open and close. I am spiritual – I breathe life. I am joy and I am love. I dive deep with the call of the sirens of the ocean, I burn toast with the flame of my dragon fire. These are my gifts. I speak with my pure heart.

It is from this place that I want to share in my work going forward. From here I can really give something that feels worthwhile, real and authentic.

So this winter, has slowed me down. I have not been very productive at all, but I feel something moving, transformation perhaps. I am changing – I don't know how and who knows what expression this will bring next. I am also learning to not feel guilty for allowing my own natural process which is not in line with conditioned beliefs of work, production and showing results.

And so I thank everyone who has supported the development of my artistic and spiritual practices so far. I feel a new wave arriving, as I look up from the bottom of the ocean to see the light flickering on the surface of the water. I don't know when it will flow will bring me to the shore, soon perhaps. Until then I can only feel what I need to share of my process of creation, and this is indeed part of it.

I have previously talked about how I work with inner and outer landscapes, so I guess this time of melting into spaces within is part of my current research.

Thank you and here's to all the emerging souls in everyone.

Reach For The Sky And Feel Your Feet

It has been many years in the making and finally I have found a way to combine my artistic life with offering a path of inspiration to others that feels authentic to me. Facilitating creativity that comes from the soul space, getting back in touch with one's true essence and unlocking the doors that lead to happiness, love and joy for life.

From my own journey I have had a lot to unlearn and relearn in order to feel myself into alignment with my 'true' self and my artistic practice has helped facilitate this journey as I explore the relations of inner and outer landscapes in my work. When I realised the word 'spiritual' means 'to breathe life' I was able to step over the dogmas surrounding the word and welcome the essence of my spirituality into my life and start merging it with my art practice, begin showing my 'spiritual' self, simply my self breathing my truth into life.

So, in short, Love Living Love is born as a manifestation of all this, along with the deep desire to share with and facilitate others on their path of re-instincting into their true selves and living in line with the soul presence. This is my wish. So I am happy to welcome this new venture with my partner and look forward to it growing and developing.

We see our offering of Love Living Love as part of the larger movement of awakening that is happening right now. The invitation to live from a space of consciousness and love, starting with ourselves and shining out into life. We achieve this through offerings of courses, books, dance, sharing and other workshops connected to the global movement of awareness and presence.

So join us on Facebook, post to friends and check out what we do and we look forward to seeing you soon ~ Thank you ~  heart emoticoThank you heart emoticon

Visit our website to book us to host your workshops, seminars and courses for you and your group of friends and/or colleagues

Check out what we do and book us ~ www.lovelivinglove.co.uk
Request to get our inspirational new letter mailing list ~ hello@lovelivinglove.co.uk

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As we are now in the process of launching our website along with our workshops and social networks, you can keep up to date with us and our events on our facebook page too. You can also sign up for our inspirational newsletter here on this blog in the left hand column. 

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Love Hero

'You have to be a hero to say yes to love, the incredible vulnerability of showing yourself to yourself in any relationship, the overwhelming connection and intense process that follows, the ache of a heart melting and opening to all senses and the dying of the old. Yes, it takes a real hero to love.' 

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Living LOVE

Living with eyes and heart wide open, ready to live and receive love

It is seeing and practising ways of choosing love over winning or being 'safe'. Loving can than be letting go of old patterns or stepping back from struggle because it is more important for your and possibly others' well being for the heart to stay open.

It is about letting life come to you now, because you have learned to be there for you, what you need and built towards a healthy and aware relationship with yourself. One where you can trust yourself. There is no lack and therefore your eyes can focus on things outside yourself, your environment, relationships, your deep fulfilling life in relation to life. 

Living Love is not a romance, living love is light being attentive, super sensitive and all knowing, caring and playing, accepting when it is time to rest. It is a life long relationship with all in and around you.



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LOVE Living

Daily life is touched by your Soul's desires

'Love Living' is all about waking up to your own true life after you have realized that the old doesn't work for you any more. It is creating a full and nurturing life fitting and connected to you and your Soul's path. It is a life that makes your heart jump and gets your juices going. It is building the life that you love to live, one that is worth waking up to, one that makes you come alive and therefore more sensitive for all the beauty and human experiences.

The most important key for building a life that you love is to take responsibility. This is a high spiritual practice. It is saying yes to yourself on a daily basis. Creating and making this life happen for yourself evokes deep self trust and therefore a base to let go of worries and control in life. Result is that you become more aligned in your energy and therefore present and aware.

'Love Living' will open your heart because of the nourishment towards yourself and prepare you for 'Living Love'. Though both ways grow simultaneously, being able to Love your life is a prerequisite for deepening into your Soul's quest, namely the journey of 'Living love'.

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Space of Love

This journey of awareness starts existing in the hearts and minds of people, which makes them strengthen this field, making it more real. Love Living Love is becoming a realistic new paradigm, together with all beautiful initiatives all around the world, where we arrive in a space of love, our hearts and therefore create a reality that manifests a healthy happy community of life on our planet and vibrating through the Universe.

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What Is Love Living Love?

Love Living Love ~ The Soul awakened walking through life as love

We create all our body of works based on becoming love in every single moment with an open heart, complete with all aspects of being alive, fully present, living your legend. Allowing the full and rich pallet of emotions, not holding on to any of them, but purely live through them, living love, life, anger, frustration, happiness and so on.

Love Living Love is set up two-fold, Love Living and Living Love, which means a distinction in loving and celebrating every aspect of daily life and living love as the opening of the heart in life, the connection to our hearts, the yearning of our Souls to come through our personalities and live love in every moment.

Love Living Love is therefore very connected to both earthly life and the Soul's quest here and after this life. A combination that is often neglected in spiritual practice. The ability to ponder oneself and the universe whist melting in happiness with a lovely glass in a hot-tub can do wonders.

How we facilitate a way towards Love Living Love

We use energy-flow as healer and red thread in all our endeavours. Everything in the Universe is Energy, so via energy we can access everything and everybody in one go. From person to nature and all in and out of that. Energy is all and a connected heart is one with all creation and therefore vital and happy, loving and nurturing.

Energy as a tool towards love living love

What is stuck is dead, what runs is clean and alive and what is healthy is nurturing that's a full circle of life. From a stinky mud puddle to a running stream, from a stuck frustrated lonely mind towards an accepting connected loving person able to nurture, everything is connected to flow. Flow of energy creates life and nurtures love.

Life as practice 

Creating space in our lives to see love manifest in a multitude of ways. For example, identifying the places of lack of love in our lives, where they come from and how to begin changing the patterns to allow more flow of love to come in. Finding so many ways to channel love into life and feel the channel from live into our love space within. Valuing and honouring these ways of love through everyday living, workshops, journey questing, meditation, movement, art, music, writing, to what we show ourselves in self care to how we share it with others in compassion, support and help with close partners, friends, family co-workers and strangers. So allowing the abundance of love to fill ourselves that we can overflow into creating happier ways of living radiating out to our immediate environments and beyond.

How the concept began

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Held By The Trees

Our caravan makes a circle with four other trees. They hold the circle for us. There is a trine of rose quartz and the fourth holds a death / transformation alter. The canopy of branches reaches down to embrace our little home in its arms. We feel held. We feel safe.

On the second day we were here, we wanted to find a nice spot for our caravan. We thought it would be nicely situated between two other trees further up the path. After spending one night there, we woke up, put the blinds up and felt the energy of the tree outside. It was not happy. We thought that maybe it was an unhappy tree due to the corking that it had undergone. On opening the other window and observing the other tree, it also felt unhappy. There trees felt like they could drop a heavy branch on us if the opportunity of wind arose. Then the feeling came in that they were not happy because of us. It was like they enjoyed the space between them, they enjoyed being next to each other as friends, and we had just come and put our caravan there! I really felt this intrusion into nature. So we moved and thus found our sacred circle.

The big indigenous trees here in Portugal are the Cork Oak. Harvested for their cork very 10-15 years. It is a prime capital harvest from the land. When their bark is removed it is known as 'skinning'. The vision of anything being skinned invokes a sickening feeling, and I have this too with these trees. Walking and driving around the landscape, the trees are numbered to indicate which year they were skinned and to know their next skinning year. Some trees look too young for this. Many have cork taken from them above and beyond the legal line on the trunk. These trees feel so different from trees that have never been touched. Whilst out on a hike the other day, we found a few trees that had never been skinned and they looked incredible. Full, vibrant, happy and healthy compared to their comrades on the adjacent field who appeared as slaves. For some great Oaks, this is too much and they die before their time.

As we sleep and awaken each day in the embrace of our tree circle, nature is doing its work. Just by being here, I cannot help but observe at every glance the wilderness, pure wild life-force enlivening my senses 24/7. As I am relaxing into my surroundings, the more I feel the vibration of this land. Its pretty hard to avoid to be honest!

I feel held by nature I feel welcomed by mother earth, I feel invited to dive into the deep current of pure life. Real life. In saying 'yes' to this invitation, I am beginning to feel the 'oneness' that is so often talked about in 'spiritual' books and teachings. I never though this could be so true. To feel such a deep connection to the wild.

And so the trees are here. And I feel them so much. I feel their support and unconditional love.

The other day, I felt a big anger rising inside of me. This is an ongoing subject for me since about 8 months, as I pealed back another internal layer and realised that I had been suppressing my anger for pretty much all my life. So there is a lot to be released! I am learning where it is coming from, where it is in my body, what my triggers are, and how to feel and allow a healthy anger to be expressed within myself, no longer suppressing.

After shouting in a princess rage, with the deep source feeling like a patterning from the past. I sat in a huff eating an orange. I could feel the need to release arising. I felt drawn to go over to the other side outside the circle. The top of the land that leads into the valley. From here I could see far across the misty morning landscape. From here I could scream. My conditioned mind was still trying to stop me, 'No you can't do that! You can't just scream out loud, what a fool of yourself you will make'. But again I felt the land would hold me, and it did. Three large, long screams from deep inside. Over the valley, into the bushes and trees. Taken from me and given back to the land. Such and incredible feeling. It felt like nature could take it. She is so powerful here, she can take me. Here mother Earth has the strength to hold me. It does not feel the same as if I would shout at a concrete surrounded tree in a city.

The invitation was not over at the final scream. There was more. After the verbal expression, the second round of anger came in a wave of a need to express physically. I was trusting my intuition. I wanted to beat the hell out of the bushes in front of me. But I thought, 'I could not do this, this is not the 'done thing' to do!'. I did it. I paced across the tree circle to the pile of branches, found my weapon and went back to the bushes and beat them. Such rage, such force, such anger releasing from deep within. I stopped to tune into the nature, she could take it. She took it for me. She was saying 'yes' to me.

Then I turned round and beat the ground, as the branch was breaking into small pieces, I took each broken piece and kept beating until it was all gone. Adrenalin. Release. From inside I could feel doors unlocking to my seat of fire.

Then came the silence. The sorrow. Down to the ground she absorbed the tears that came from deep inside my belly.

I thanked her.

I find it hard to describe what happened. But it was pure. What an such a powerful experience to feel so held and loved. The feeling that the nature was there for me, she could absorb my pain, taking my anger and dissolving it back into pure life. 

Wow. The invitation to experience my suppressed anger I have never aloud myself to show or express for fear of being abandoned or not being loved if I show everything I need to express as it moves through me. Nature does not abandon me. My true nature does not abandon me, and with Mother nature I am guided back to experience my true wild self in authenticity. On the road to who I really am ... finally.

I am humbled by the power. I am humbled by these wise old trees that still stand here and welcome me with open arms. Inviting me to show my wild self. Letting me know I will still be loved if I show myself. That it is okay to be angry. That there is space for me too.

Nature is such a powerful force. I am drawn in. She hold me. I melt. I am experiencing natural life like never before here, and from here it will go beyond.

Love Living?

Whilst stuck in a traffic jam on the Parisian Peripherique yesterday, we gave an organic cereal bar to a man who lived in a shack situated on a patch of green between 4 motorway highways weaving around and over each other. The sides of his dwelling were an amazing collection of thousands of coloured plastic bottles. He thanked us and said he wished he had a caravan like ours to sleep in. Parisian life?

It is amazing to see the diversity of landscapes we traverse even in this small part of the world, and yet we are not the Third World. It is amazing to see how each journey of each being leads to such different outcomes. As we become just another vehicle that drives by in a traffic jam caused by yet another accident on the spaghetti highway.

Gay Paris. It felt like a threshold to break through. On Monday, we couldn't do it, because there was such a big crash the whole motorway was closed off so we found a plan B. Campsite. Take away pizza. -2 degrees. Full moon, No open toilets. Tuesday, second attempt. As we journeyed around the Peripherique with no drivers giving way to us (we just want to get in the right lane guys so we don't end up lost!), concrete square structures at every view, commercial billboards, graffiti, smoking chimneys, we reminded ourselves that this is apparently 'progress'... We reminded ourselves why we 'think' we are on this journey, although we really don't know why yet (it seems like a good idea!)...

There is is no place to breathe in this old town
There is no place to breathe between these broken walls
There is no space for me to shine,
Without time.

I don't quite know what I make of it all yet. Sure, I am sensitive to my environment, I sometimes wonder why going to the 'city' to 'make it' has never been part of my journey. Perhaps it is because deep down inside I have always known that I need love to survive, and the city environment is one that does not feed my heart with love. I find it hard to love myself when there is such an abundance of fear and 'power over' energy.

On departing the perispherical birth canal of Paris, a final glimpse was caught of the glorious city, on turning my head, there I saw her, La Tour Eiffel. Almost lost from sight, standing proud out of the top of the city-scape. Perhaps a reminder to stand tall and rise above it all.

And now as we enter in to a 5-6 day journey to traverse La France, a country I know well, a home from home, I am confronted with my present feelings. The arising memories of France I have in my pain body. Yet that girl is no longer who I am today. The last time I left my 'home' here 10 years ago. Leaving as a matter of survival. I am confronted at the same time with the hauntings of my past, which at perfect timing invite me to wipe the slate clean for once and for all. How to do this will become clear, I trust.

The arising shadows of the past invite me to remember how to keep in the present. Yet, it is hard to find my centre, my core, me in this foreign land. I am sure this is part of the bigger picture, an invitation to continue breaking my old patterns and conditioning's. Sometimes it feels like one hell of a job to do but I know I am the right woman for the job!

I am now sitting in Ben's living room in Tours, a friend of Sharon's from Holland. I see a Charlie Hebdo newspaper, French novels, and vintage crates full of old Vinyl records. I feel peace. I feel present. I feel happy. I feel so grateful for everything this life has bought me. Even when I am in my fear and sadness of everything I have lost financially and materially from my previous venture in France, I truly believe that these experiences have made me who I am today. I am grateful to be alive and I am so grateful to have been able to see through to my heart. To get the blood pumping though my veins again to find the fire for life, and really start to believe in myself. At the moment, I feel like my fire needs a bit of a stoking, but I am comfortable with that, as this fire feels the effects of the winter season coming to an end.

Vive La France! I am ready to reconcile our differences. I'm not in this 'life game' to play tit-for-tat. I am here for expansion. I am ready to be in new creation. New memories to embrace me with open arms as we venture to the Atlantic, show me your gentilless, your heart, your compassion, your forgiveness. Let down your armour and show me your true colours of amour. Sweet nectar of France and passion for life I welcome you.

Have a great day all, feel the love, feel the fire, get some more fresh wood as we are getting ready to burn!

Feeling Fine?

Inspiration for the day

It's Hair To Say ...

There is so much to write about as I now find myself at the beginning of 2015 in Holland preparing to embark on a nomadic year into the unknown. I could begin by writing a day to day account of the physical world that is unfolding around me, what we did for Christmas and New Years etc. But this is not the point of this blog.

Just as my art work has revealed over the last years to be a reflective play of my inner and outer worlds, I have a suspicion that my writings will also be the same.

And so the documentation begins ... and for some reason I am drawn to write about my hair, as it has been an in interesting process for me over the last couple of years, and given that I dreamed about cutting off all my hair again last night, it seems like this is what I need to write about at the beginning of this new journey. It feels like an important reflection to the process that has lead me to where I am now.

Pretty much all of my life I had had long hair. Over the last 5-8 years I had imagined what it would be like to have short hair and always thought I would like to see how curly it could be. But I grew up believing that having long hair was the most beautiful way to have ones hair, and sure I do have nice hair and it does look great long, but this is not the point.

Over that last 10 years I have been on an enormous transformational journey as I began to unpick tangled web of my inner being and start to reconnect the threads to my true self. How to love my self and expand into living a my life for me and in my truth. During this time I had always been afraid of cutting my hair. I think this mainly comes from my conditioning, that beauty comes in having long hair. Does this mean that I am not beautiful or feminine with short hair?

As I have become more in tune with myself, I have been facing more and more of my fears. Diving into deep internal spaces, into the dark and beyond to bring back treasures to shine light onto life.

In my art, in particular The Monochronium collection of work, I see my exploration and healing of my maiden self. The young girl in me that needed to come out and set foot into this world, unafraid of being seen. My hair was also an issue during this time as I disguised myself with black and white wigs. It felt good to change and play with my 'identity'.

In 2013, I began to feel my hair was really not part of me. I remember one night feeling like I needed to get it off my back. Like a heavy weight, a burden of the past that needed to be cut off, lighten my load. I felt like Rapunzel with my long locks, keeping my maiden self locked in the tower, away from exploring the outside world and moving into my fullness as a woman. I needed to cut of the locks and climb out of the tower ...

I began to realise that I was in my 30s and I didn't want to die without 'Living my Hair'!

I first started with some highlights and several inches off, the long brown locks that were now almost to my waist. A few months later the back needed to be chopped off, release my neck, the power point of voice and self expression. From here my hair got shorter and shorter and yet the long hair at the front still kept me safe with the impression of not having 'short hair'. Still something to hide behind maybe?

One evening I came home and I simply had enough. My hair felt a real connection and burden to my conditioning and patterning in life. I wanted to be rid of the fear of having short hair, not being beautiful, regretting my actions etc. What was the worst that could happen? Nothing!

I was on Skype with Sharon and talking with him about the struggles I had had that day and how I felt my life related to my hair. I said I just wanted to chop it off, and he asked me what was stopping me from doing this... And by divine coincidence... there was not much space between me and a pair of scissors that happened to be in sight. The next hour involved a ceremony with Sharon on Skype in my bathroom, as I cut off locks of my hair. I thought I would cry, but it felt amazing to take charge. It felt very symbolic, like crossing another boundary to saying YES to myself, facing fears and jumping into the unknown. To find the places of beauty within myself and not rely on my maiden mask that has been smothering me from being the woman that I am.

Cutting the ties of Ancestral line
Cutting the ties of Maiden vines
Cutting the threads of web 
That kept me tied in mind

Carving out a new design
Clearing a new path in time
Creating space for true voice
To express and to shine



A couple of months ago I was watching something on Youtube where a guy spoke about the negative energy we can hold in our hair. I realised that I needed to cut off the energetic years of my past that I carrying around in my hair. It feels good to know now that all the hair on my head has grown during happy years of my life.

This has been part of the process in learning to love my self, to say YES to myself and to enjoy the process of the journey. To feel beautiful despite the length of my hair, which is utterly ridiculous!

Of course people have their hair cut all the time, but for me I see how this process has reflected the inner state of being and helped me on my journey.

The most exciting thing now is that I am growing my hair and it is for my self this time. I feel my hair growing in a different way. Through choice to grow into my full healthy womanhood, in acceptance of myself and in faith of the steps I am taking in my path of life.

If any men have got to the end of this post, congratulations and thank you for bearing with me on this rather feminine topic.

Black and white Photography by Danika Westwood

Cosmic Campervanning

How did it come about that I now find myself at the beginning of 2015 in Holland, about to embark on a hippy journey with a newly purchased vintage German fire truck that has been converted into a campervan? At the beginning of the week we decided it was about time to start looking for a van to drive to Portugal with (given that we would be leaving in 3 weeks!!), Sharon predicted we would have one by Friday and sure enough we did! (Champagne celebrations). It was clearly meant to be as the number plate is even for us ... SH followed by 8, or otherwise known in more cosmic circles as, the infinity symbol! Behind it we will be trailing our rather stylish 1982 campervan so some pimping up will be needed here to make a red and white van look stylish next to a mocha-coffee campervan! What I find hilarious in this whole adventure is the death of my ego. My 'stylish ego' mask is dying a rather fast death as I embrace a new way of living. Did I think this is what I would be doing this time last year? Hell no!! Does it feel good to fill my life with as many crazy adventures as I can? Hell yeah! 

 

Welcome to Love Living Love

So far, this blog has been an open dialogue between myself and my partner Sharon. I have left a few poems that we have written to each other over the last couple of months, and hidden the rest!

Over the coming year this blog will be a place to document our journey as we leave the lives we have built for ourselves, me in England and Sharon in Holland, to embark on creating a life experience together ... somewhere ...

We have no idea why we are going apart from our dedication to experiencing life to the fullest. So watch this space and join us along the way. We will inevitably journey into both shadows and light in some form or another. Sounds like I am going to perform magic! haha ... the only magic that might take place is seeing what can happen when space is created to really live truth in life and open up the expansion that it can bring.

Over the couple of months we have both been clearing stuff out, energetically and physically. I would like to thank the support of our Friends who have witnessed a selling frenzy on Facebook along with house parties and targeted texting, as we have been flogging our gear. It's good to see things get a new life somewhere else. The charity shops have also been doing really well ... and there's still some more to come as bedrooms, bookshelves and garages get sorted out.

I will be posting in the near future about some of these processes that have taken place. The experience of the external clearing process and the effects I have been noticing on my internal self. It has been an interesting time to witness so far... infact this year has been incredible so far so I also look forward to sharing some of my insights on that too.

So, as this is just a welcome, I am keeping it short, but I would like to say that I am looking forward to journalling this next part of life, and maybe along the way there may be some gems of wisdom the readers may find useful. 

Have fun whatever you may be up to 

Love Living Love

Hazel xx

A few words ...

This is a message I posted on Facebook...

As I am getting ready to leave for Holland I am also getting ready for the next adventure in my life. It involves really saying 'yes' completely to my life.

'Eternal life force stems from love, it is a golden seed in the soul of each being. To truly love ourselves fully, feel our light and shine out to the world enables expansion, awareness and an incredible energy that can radiate to others.' H.E.

YES    

Over the last 10 years of delving into my inner landscapes, I have realised that so many of the times I have felt a struggle or inner conflict is because the lack of love I have had for myself. As I have learnt, and still learning, to fully love myself, I have noticed how life has been changing for the better, and how much calmer inside I now feel. This year has now opened me up to really being able to give and receive love in my life and that has also come in the form of partnership. A totally unexpected dive into a conscious partnership with someone who so closely mirrors me, helps show me my shadows and my light.

And so, this is partly what this journey is about for me. How I can live in truth to my self, feeling my shine, my authentic creative expression in whatever form that takes and how I can also be in partnership and maintain my sense of self. The blog 'Love Living Love' has been in the making for 9 months already, with my partner, and I am going to launch it soon. It will be the place where I intend to document our journey and begin to share the learnings I have been experiencing over the last 10 years.

For now ... here is the logo/banner I have been playing with (at top). These birds were ones that flew above our heads in Poole Harbour. Flight is a great symbol, as I now feel my new wings growing in strength and getting ready to launch off the cliff into the unknown flight of what is to come. I hope you will join us on the journey, and I will let you know when the blog is launched.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive of my creative endeavors over the last 10 years here in England. I look forward to seeing what comes as we continue in the beautiful flow of life.

Lots of love

Hx

YES

Wings of Solace

I thought I would share this with you. Finding a way through whatever is happening at the moment, darkness fading and light feeling stronger. I begin to see my gold shimmering softly once again.
Here is a journey I went into today.


Wings of Solace

As the Solace drips away
And peace seems lost in the darkness
Fear seems so powerful
And the heart, kept small,
Is gasping to breathe once again into fullness.
Where did all the signposts go?
As everything I have built seems to stand in fog
Where is my truth?
As my ego dies
I let my identity die too
Who is this 'I' I have created?
A monster of my own being?
A result of all my experiences
Imprinted into the network of my body.
Seeing where this 'I' has come from
and knowing that not all of her is me.
Am I ready to let go even more?
Am I ready to say goodbye to the comfort of misguidance?
I have missed me
All my life.
And now as the layers get deeper and deeper
And I witness their unfolding,
Fear tries to keep me blanketed in wings of solace.
But where is my heart?
How do I know where my heart is when I am still in the game, 
In the foggy programming of yesterdays schedule.
Held in the fiery cradle
The blanket burns away
Scolding the awakening
Tempting resistance
Feeling into the fire
Feeling the burning
Broken embers falling
The Phoenix rises.
Fire feeling the raw heart
Rising warmth
Igniting the gold flow
Through every vein
Reconnecting the pure golden energy
So I can 'live' again
My old, heavy broken wings fall into the abyss. 
I begin to see and feel how heavy they have been hanging on my back,
The dark shadow that I mistook for being part of my self.
They carried me far.
I honor them with gratitude in my goodbye.
It is now time to fly high
High
With my golden wings.
With one final glance below into Hades
To see the old wings, resting in peace.
My voice carries me into the light
I can say goodbye
I can
I can fly into my power
Into the unknown space
As the golden honey rush flows back 
Into my heart
I see the sun shining 
Energising my soul. 
My true soul
The one that was always here.
So much love
Breathing and relaxing 
Into the space of a new journey, 
A beginning
Simply being.

Today's Apples

I love you like there is no tomorrow
I love you like all my dreams came true
I love you like the song that sings itself
From the bottom of my heart
And I love you because you can see right through
All the layers that I hide behind
The ones from times gone by
The layers that are not part of us
The ones to which we say goodbye.
I love you like you are the world
And you mean the world to me
I love you with all the sweetness of my heart
You are my Apple Tree.

My Rainbow King

My Rainbow King

You are the light that shines right through

To all the darkest spaces within my soul

Holding out your hand to help find the truth

To make only love our ultimate goal

Through a life time deep of black and white

I see your colours shining so brightly above

Clearing the lenses and birthing new sight

I will join you my King as we embrace love

Through all the colours I once never felt

I feel them emerging through my skin

Reconnecting every cell, a kiss of bliss, I melt

Into your arms, I can trust, I feel you within

All these colours I had once never seen 

Are now right here as I dance and sing

Oh my love, my love I'm your Rainbow Queen

And you are my Rainbow King

Ik hou zoveel van jou Sharon

Forever yours

Rainbow Warrior

Hazel

xxxx

I know my Goal..

My dearest Hazel

I want to love you

Not for the love itself
Not for me to be happy
Not to feel the heart

I want to love you

To see you smile

I want to love you

To see you melt into time

I want you to flower, to bloom
into your own happiness

And all I want from love
is to witness this phenomenon

Of you being truly you
yourself
your Self

The highest you
The Soul
Mother earth

I am
there for you

My deepest and greatest
love

I love you
is my mantra

I love you
is my goal

You loving life
Is what I cherish

You living love
Is what I hold

I am there
my love

With all my love
I am there

For you..

Skype painting..

Painting our faces for each other online skyping the night away.. Loved it my love!! So much fun!! Love ya!

I love this picture of you

I feel like we are adventurers together - I love it :-D